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Il C.I.S.P. ti offre la possibilità di avere a disposizione gratuitamente per trenta minuti uno Psicoterapeuta a cui poter fare qualsiasi tipo di domanda riguardante il potenziamento del tuo BENESSERE. Per usufruire del servizio...



Ovviamente, questi non sono consigli per imparare a praticarla, ma per sapere che cosa è possibile fare quando disgraziatamente capiti di esserne vittima. Si tratta quindi di un discorso rivolto principalmente alle ragazze, alle allieve, e in genere alle donne di tutte età - ma soprattutto a quelle giovane. Qui c'è poco da esser provocatori. Siamo tutti d'accordo che la violenza carnale è una cosa orrenda. Se qualcuno la pensa diversamente, significa che ha qualche grave problema - ma ne parlerò un altro giorno. Oggi vorrei occuparmi soltanto del fatto che comunque, anche qui, qualche luogo comune patogeno si può ritrovare nella convinzione di esser troppo deboli e di non avere mezzi per opporsi alla violenza di un uomo grande e grosso e magari manesco o armato. Il che induce un passivo atteggiamento di angosciosa disperazione e di rabbiosa importanza che  naturalmente peggiora la situazione e può risultare destruente per lo stato d'animo della vittima - sia nelle immediatezze del fatto che a più o meno lunga e talvolta lunghissima distanza di tempo. Avevo quindi intenzione di riprendere alcune passaggi di una specie di lezione che anni fa tenni in un college femminile insieme ad una preparatissima agente speciale dell'assessorato di polizia di New York (New York Police-Department, o NYPD The Finest, come loro si chiamano) che illustrò i fondamentali metodi di difesa, mentre io mi limitai a parlare degli aspetti psicologici della faccenda. Poi, il nostro intervento - che comunque non era stato né il primo né l'ultimo sull'argomento), gli elementi essenziali del discorso alle studentesse comparvero in migliore forma letteraria nel libro di un famoso scrittore americano (Hail to the Chief di Ed McBain). Sebbene molto meno famoso di lui, anch'io sono uno scrittore, e non mi azzarderei mai ad appropriarmi di roba scritta da collega. Riporto quindi nella sua lingua e nella stesura originale il brano del libro con alcuni pochissimi aggiustamenti. 


Rape generally is a very nasty business. Someone may think that it is not such a terrible thing. It is penetration by force, true. It is a violation of your body, true. But if you submit to this violation, perhaps you will not be hurt. Perhaps. But a man who wants to and tries to and does rape a woman generally has some serious psychological problems, one of which might be that he is unable of enjoying "normal" sexual relationships. Part of the psychological interplay that makes rape appealing and exciting to some of those men is the very taking-by-force aspect of what he is doing. And where there is force involved, there is the attendnt danger of being severely beaten or even killed. We don't want you to become obsessed about rape. We don't want uou to start screaming if a stranger taps you on the shoulder or even tries to pinch your bottom. He may only want to steal a feel, and you start screaming, and he'll try to shut you up, and the next thing you know he has punched you in the mouth or broken your neck. That's bad as being assaulted by a real rapist. We do want to frighten you a bit, however, and the first thing we want to frighten you about is hitchhiking. If you would like to be raped, the best way to accomplish your goals is to go outside and start hitchhiking. We can't guarantee that if you hitch a ride tonight, you'll positively be raped. But we can guarantee that if you hitch from the same spot at the same time each night, someone will try to rape you. It may take a week, it might take longer. But someone will try. And it will have nothing whatever to do with how you look. You can be standing on that corner wearing a potato sack, with your hair in curlers, and a fever sore on your lip, and that won't discourage the rapist. Remember that he has big psychological problems. You have presumably smaller ones. So, please, don't please, don't, don't foolishly place yourself in hazardous or vulnerable situations.There are many kinds of rape. If you are out on a date with a man you know, and you are necking in his car, and he decides to try and take you by force, againtst your wishea, that's rape. Even if you know him as a nice chap with a respectable profession and rather sound political ideas. Even if he is a friend of your family or a relative. In a situation like that, we would advise that you stop necking for a moment, stick two fingers down your throat, and vomit into his lap. The more serious rape, if rapes can be classified as to seriousness, is the one that can lead to bodily injury or death.  A man jumps out at you, he threatens you at knife point. Don't begin telling him what a disgusting animal he is, don't start cutting him down to size, because he may decide to cut you down to size - literally. He is emotionally unstable, he does not need his self-esteem further bruised. We have known victims who have talked themselves out of being raped by treating their attacker with human kindness, understanding, sympathy, and humility. That doesn't always work, but it may at least buy you some time until either help comes or you can effect an escape. One girl bought time by telling the rapist she knew he had been following her, and thought she was very lucky, because she was just a plain, dumpy little thing, and he was suck a big handsome man. She put her arms around his neck and got very affectionate - something totally unexpected by the rapist - and he lost his erection and was momentarily incapable of perfoming. By the time he got back to the business at hand - which was taking this girl by force, don't forget that - some people wandered up the street, and the girl was saved from attack. But let's suppose a man begins hitting you the moment he drags you inot the bushes. Your natural reaction is to turn your head away from the blows, or bring up your hands to protect your face, or in some way involuntarily show resistance or fear. We could tell you not to do this, but we understand that it is an automatic reaction and it is very difficult to stop it. Anyhow, try to remember that any sing of resistance of fear will only provoke him more. And try to remember that your better plan would be not to resist. In other words, try to go limp - which may cause the same thing to happen to him. Let's say nothing you have said or done has worked, you are on the ground, he is still striking you, he is going to rape you. The question now is whether you want to be raped, and maybe killed, or whether you want to hurt this man. Only you can decide that. If you choose not to be a victim, we can tell you how to hurt him, and how to get away from him. Remember that the unexplected is the best approach. You are flat on your back, and this man is about to rape you. Instead of trying to twist away, instead of trying to shove him off, you begin to fondle him. That's right. Fondle the man. Fondle his genitals. And then drop your hand to his testicles and squeeze. Squeeze suddenly and squeeze as hard as you can. You are going to hurt this man, but you are also going to end the rape that very minute. You may wonder whether he will be able to chase you afterwards, perhaps hit you harder than he did before, perhaps even kill you. We can guarantee that if you squeezed his balls hard enough, you can run clear to the nearest police station and back, and than man will still be lying on the ground incapable of movement. This is one way to stop a rape, if you do not choose to become a vectim. There is another way, and we suspect your reaction to it will be "I'd rather get raped". That, of course, is up to you. We can only offer you options. Again, do the unexpected. Put your hands gently on the rapist's face, palms against his temples, cradle his face, murmur words of endearment or passion, allow him to think you are going along with his plans and enjoying it. Your thumbs will be close to his eyes. If you have in yourself the courage to push your thumbs into a hard-boiled egg, then you can push them into this man's eyes. You will put out his eyes, you will blind him. But you will not be raped. There is never a moment, during a rape in progress, we can guarantee this, when you will not have the opportunity to fondle the man's genitals or to put your hands on his face. These are his vulnerable areas, and if you behave unexpectedly and do not seem to be preparing an attack, he will not suspect what is coming until is too late. Squeezing his testicles will incapacitate him, but may not permanently injure him. Putting out his eyes is a drastic measure, and you may feel  with some justification that doing this is worse than what the rapist is trying to do to you - that the means of preventing the rape are worse than the crime itself. The choice is yours.


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